We are a religious Creed
very deep-rooted in all continents, following the teachings of
our Founder Pron Huffart. We believe that the Divinity manifest
Himself through farts, as an evolution of the ancient belief according
to which the voice of God on earth was the thunder. We attribute
various means to the various kinds of fart, but the divination
cannot be carried out by the single faithful: it must be entrusted
to Clergymen, the only initiated who have the power to decipher
the messages included in the volume, the tonality, the duration
and, above all in the smell of the mystical emission.
Our Church encourages the consumption of carminative foods, like legumes, onions, leaks and chestnuts, especially in the collective gatherings which we carry out periodically in the in the Sport Halls of the cities of the whole world, during which, after having well sealed any door, window and air duct, we go into raptures with our staying together, in communion, peace and joy: many of us are so taken by the mystical climate that they quite faint, others have visions and begin to speak strange initiation languages.
Naturally we must also stand the persecutions of the intolerants, and for this many of us are forced to manifest their own faith in an individual way, in isolated places, or quite to deny it, when it is displayed in public: this is very sad and we hope that the moment comes soon in which anybody will be able to say with his head held high: "yes, I farted!"
Our Church promotes the Petologic culture by the sale of books of our Founder Pron Huffart, which explain like completing, in several stages, the liberation way that goes from the repression of one's own faith and its manifestations, until the free expression of it, with instead the search of more and more frequent and long-lasting contacts with the God, through, as we have seen, a correct feeding; on the other hand is well known that all the great religions provide for food precepts: in our religion the vegetable coal is considered impure and must be banned by the faithfuls' table.
For the adepts several stages of consciousness exist, whose attainment is assessed by our Elders, and which are scanned by the purchase of Huffart sacred texts, of a more and more elevated content, and legumes with thicker peel.
We believe that in each of us harbours a vital energy that must be freed, rather than repressed, and we believe that when all the inhabitants of the earth will make it, in every corner of the planet the voice of God will resound loud.