THE TRUE STORY OF BERLUSCONI

1934 Silvio Berlusconi sees the light in Milan, giving precise and detailed instructions to the gynecologist, to the obstetrician and to his mother on the conduction of the delivery and the sense of life.
1944 Little Silvio Berlusconi contacts Roosevelt and Churchill and suggests them Normandy as a place for the landing of the allied troops, adding precious strategic details.
1947 Young Silvio Berlusconi, playing with Meccano, realizes the first portable computer, than, by modesty, confined himself to use it home to make his homeworks.
1953 Silvio Berlusconi, while plaiting his cousin's hair, understands the helix structure of DNA and communicates it to his two neighbors, certains Watson and Crick, that later on will claim the merit of the discovery.
1956 Silvio Berlusconi, during the summer vacations at Rimini, crosses the Adriatic sea on foot.
1958 At the death of Pius XII Silvio Berlusconi summons the Holy Spirit and, after reminding him with regret not to be willing for the moment to assume the appointment of Pontiff, suggests him a list of three names between which choosing the new Pope: Angelo Roncalli, Giovanni Battista Montini and Karol Wojtyla, leaving however the Holy Spirit wide freedom of choice.
1960 Silvio Berlusconi is the first man in space, on board of a spaceship constructed by himself, modifying his uncle's NSU Prinz.
1966 Silvio Berlusconi performs the first heart transplant, perfectly successful, on his brother Paolo, not even waking him up. After few days, with a daring and ingenious experimental spirit, he carries out the backwards transplant, replacing all things like before.
1969 Silvio Berlusconi in a private talk, suggests to President Nixon to organize a Moon expedition, and declining the pressing request of the USA President to be the first man to land on earth's satellite, suggests the name of his old friend Neil Armstrong.
1970 Silvio Berlusconi is the actual trainer of Italy at the Football World Championship in Mexico, and suggests to Ferruccio Valcareggi all the line-ups and the tactics; unfortunately, on the occasion of the finals against Brazil, an unexpected engagement (he is in London in order to help John Lennon to write "Imagine"), prevent him to follow the team which, left in the hands of Valcareggi, loses the game 4 to 1.
1975 Silvio Berlusconi, during an underwater diving, discovers the bronzes of Riace but, by modesty and in order to safeguard their integrity, he renounces to give the news to the scientific world and to the press.
1982 Silvio Berlusconi wins the Football World Championship beating Germany in the finals by 3 to 1.
1983 Silvio Berlusconi, with quickness and heedless of danger, baffles an earthquake that was on the point to destroy Central Italy, but being loath and averse to exhibitionism, refuses to spread the news.
1985 Silvio Berlusconi, in order to contain gas-oil expenses of the poor people, primes the global heating of the planet and diverts the stream named “El Niño”.
1989 Silvio Berlusconi summons Erich Hoenecker in his villa at Arcore and rebukes him hardly for the human rights condition in the East Germany; at the end of the talk the communist leader, humiliated and repented, decrees the dissolution of the German Democratic Republic and the demolition of the Berlin wall.
1991 Silvio Berlusconi plans the Auditorium of Rome, inspiring himself to his daughter Barbara's turtle, but by modesty he hands the plan over to Renzo Piano, who will never thank him for this favour.
1993 Silvio Berlusconi, driven by philanthropy and love for the poorer, enters politics in order to make all the Italian citizens happy. In the following elections of 1994 he receives at once 120 million votes and is elected Prime Minister.
1996 Silvio Berlusconi, at the head of his party, gets 350 million votes, but in spite of this, due to the gerrymanders of the Communists, he is not reconfirmed as Premier.
2001 Silvio Berlusconi, under precise mandate of God, is elected Prime Minister once more and rules for five years in a wise and enlightened way.
2006 Silvio Berlusconi in the general election gets 700 million votes, nearly all avoided by the Communists, but he gets over it winning once more the Football World Championship marking also the decisive goal.
2007 Silvio Berlusconi founds the "Popular-liberal for the freedom of the free people of the population that wants the freedom for the freed people, Liberal and Liberist Party". The same day of foundation 900 million Italians are enrolled to the party and many foreign countries protest because they want a party leaded by Berlusconi too.

page last updated: December 2nd 2007