far more than crop circles!

This page is dedicated to those who are satisfied with crop circles: it's enough to look around in the fields and something better can be found. Just look here:

crop lines: they are the traces of the passage of intergalactic trains, evidently used for the space commuters' transport. A sighting of these trains is highly improbable, since they are always in great delay, and if somebody would see aliens waiting for the train, it's advisable to avoid contacting them, since they are usually very nervous. Some cases of commuters' protests with railroad block also occurred.

crop holes: the older starships have usually brakes problems and, as they touch down the land, the retro-rockets do not work in a correct way. This causes the well-known "heaps and bounds landing" that leaves in the wheat fields circular traces aligned on the way of the spaceship.
Often at the end of the traces, in the point where the starship stopped, vomit traces can be found.

crop skiddings: in the summer week-ends the extraterrestrial young males use to show off in skill contests with their sport spaceships, using the corn fields of our planet as tracks. Very wide areas of crop are therefore levelled by the exuberant offsprings, trying to impress their wzsqz (meaning: "doxies").
The fact that wheat doesn't make the typical tyre squealing makes the young aliens very frustrated.

crop clearings: often in the fields wide levelled areas are found, connected by wide lanes: they are the traces of alien patronal festivities, which the extraterrestrial use to celebrate in late spring or summer in the wheat fields of the earth. A careful inspection of the places allows to find traces of Bologna and candy floss and raffle tickets.
In the Emilian fields instead the Intergalactic Communist festivals take place, and traces of donuts and sausages can be found.

crop lack: in the heart of summer, in an inexplicable way, whole cereals fields disappear, leaving only barren expanses of stubbles. This cannot be explained otherwise than by a dematerialization induced by mysterious powers, produced by alien starships. The hypothesis that the crop disappearance could be due to the work of an harvester is obviously imaginative and lacking in every scientific ground.

photo: Andrea Gaddini

page created: July 17th 2008 and last updated: April 17th 2010