Karl (Karl) (1818-1883) "Workers of the world unite!" (The Communist Manifesto, 1848)
Chico (Leonard) (1887-1961) Right now I'd do anything for money. I'd kill somebody for money. I'd kill you for money. Ah, no. You're my friend. I'd kill you for nothing. (The Cocoanuts, 1929)
Mr Yates: My dear, dear friends. I really don't know
what to say.
Chico: Well, shut up! (The Cocoanuts, 1929)
Why a duck? (The Cocoanuts, 1929)
Harpo(Arthur) (1888-1964) "......"
Groucho (Julius) (1890-1977)
Say, the next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you, will
* You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. (Monkey Business, 1931)
* You know, I'd buy you a parachute if I thought it wouldn't open. (Animal Crackers, 1930)
* Do you mind if I don't smoke? (Animal Crackers, 1930)
* I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. (?)
love you! I love you anyhow!
Margaret: I don't think you'd love me if I were poor.
Groucho: I might, but I'd keep my mouth shout. (The Cocoanuts, 1929)
* GROUCHO: Have
you had any experience of the kidnapping ?
CHICO: You bet! Do you know what I do when I kidnap somebody? First I call him up on the telephone, then I send him my chauffeur.
G.: Oh, you've got a chauffeur?
G.: What kind of a car you've got?
C.: I've not got a car, I've just got a chauffeur.
G.: But, maybe I'm crazy, but when you have a chauffeur aren't you supposed to have a car?
C.: Well, I had one, but, you see, it costs too much to keep a car and a chauffeur, so I sold the car.
G.: Well, that shows you how little I know. I would have kept the car and sold the chauffeur.
C.: That's no good! I gotta have a chauffeur to take me to work in the morning.
G.: But if you got no car, how can he take you to work?
C.: He don't have to take me to work. I no gotta job.
G.: This is the finish. How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
(Horse Feathers, 1932)
* G.: How
is that you never got a double pneumonia?
C.: I go around by myself.
(The Cocoanuts, 1929)
You're one of the musicians? But you were not due until tomorrow.
C.: Couldn't come tomorrow, it's too quick.
G.: Say, you're lucky they didn't come yesterday.
C.: We were busy yesterday, but we charge just the same.
G.: (...) What do you fellas get an hour?
C.: For playing, we get-a ten dollars an hour..
G.: I see! What do you get for not playing?
C.: Twelve dollars an hour.
G.: Well, clip me off a piece of that.
C.: Now, for rehearsing we make a special rate, that's fifteen dollars an hour.
G.: That's for rehearsing?
C.: That's for rehearsing.
G.: And what do you get for not rehearsing?
C.: You couldn't afford it. You see, if we don't rehearse we don't play, and if we don't play that runs into money.
G.: How much do you want to run into an open manhole?
C.: Just the cover charge.
G.: Well drop in sometime!.
(Animal Crackers, 1930)