1.
never obey the
red lights
(maybe that car crossing with the green light can manage to avoid
you)
2.
happily ride on
the wrong side of the road (however the cop will not say anything,
perhaps neither the lorry coming in the opposite direction will)
3.
when it's dark
always ride with the lights off (the white of the eyes is enough to be seen
in the dark, in case you can even smile)
4.
never stop at
the stop sign (it
applies only to the cars, isn't it? Try to explain it to the guy
on a SUV who doesn't know it)
5.
never wear a helmet
(at
the most you move from the two wheels to the four wheels of a
wheelchair or to the coffin, with no wheel)
6.
keep your hands
off the handlebar
(this
way while you pass they'll say "how cool, no hands!"
until they'll not say "poor guy, no life!")
7.
listen to the
music at full blast on your earphones (you don't need to hear who's
coming from behind, it's better to die by surprise)
8.
ride on the pavement
every time you can (it's
for the old ladies to take care not to be thrown on the ground
with a broken femur)
9.
always ride on
the bus lane (if
the bus runs you down maybe it comes out that it gets the worst
of it)
10. go around on bicycle drunk (anyway nobody
will breathalyze you, perhaps they will carry out a post-mortem
on you)
11. talk on the mobile while you
ride (you
don't need your hands, not either your attention, the traffic policemen
don't say anything,
therefore
...)
12. go around bare-chested and wearing
shorts (if
you fall off you are reduced to tinned meat, but you can pass
it off as a tribal tattoo)
It goes without saying that the road toll on bicycle comes above all from the dull aggressiveness of the car drivers and their akin ones, but it also goes without saying that riding a bicycle like idiots doesn't help to survive in the traffic.
page
created: September
3rd 2011 and last updated:
October
16th 2011