fatal pedals
dodecalogue of the doomed-to-die cyclist
Cycling to work every day in Rome I see things of all shades, particularly in spring and in summer, when the seasonal cyclists come out,
not trained to the city traffic and sure to be invulnerable. I publish for them this easy set of rules for self-elimination.
Of course if you do the opposite of what listed below you'll increase your chances to get back home unhurt.

1. never obey the red lights (maybe that car crossing with the green light can manage to avoid you)
2. happily ride on the wrong side of the road (however the cop will not say anything, perhaps neither the lorry coming in the opposite direction will)
3. when it's dark always ride with the lights off (the white of the eyes is enough to be seen in the dark, in case you can even smile)
4. never stop at the stop sign (it applies only to the cars, isn't it? Try to explain it to the guy on a SUV who doesn't know it)
5. never wear a helmet (at the most you move from the two wheels to the four wheels of a wheelchair or to the coffin, with no wheel)
6. keep your hands off the handlebar (this way while you pass they'll say "how cool, no hands!" until they'll not say "poor guy, no life!")
7. listen to the music at full blast on your earphones (you don't need to hear who's coming from behind, it's better to die by surprise)
8. ride on the pavement every time you can (it's for the old ladies to take care not to be thrown on the ground with a broken femur)
9. always ride on the bus lane (if the bus runs you down maybe it comes out that it gets the worst of it)
10. go around on bicycle drunk (anyway nobody will breathalyze you, perhaps they will carry out a post-mortem on you)
11. talk on the mobile while you ride (you don't need your hands, not either your attention, the traffic policemen don't say anything, therefore ...)
12. go around bare-chested and wearing shorts (if you fall off you are reduced to tinned meat, but you can pass it off as a tribal tattoo)

It goes without saying that the road toll on bicycle comes above all from the dull aggressiveness of the car drivers and their akin ones, but it also goes without saying that riding a bicycle like idiots doesn't help to survive in the traffic.

source: Istat (2007) from the website www.asaps.it

page created: September 3rd 2011 and last updated: October 16th 2011